Two FLOTUS. Two controversial women. Two wives. Two mothers. Two often misunderstood people. Two ladies with background and history and stories to tell.

My goal in reading Melania by Melania Trump and Becoming by Michelle Obama was to challenge myself to set aside preconceived notions and try to see them for who they are, rather than who the media says they are. First, I had to acknowledge my preconceived notions.

I didn’t like Michelle. Her statement about finally being proud of the United States (FINALLY?) disgusted me. The poor implementation of her healthy school lunch program was infuriating. I had a Lunch Buddy at the time and I saw an enormous amount of vegetables put on a lunch tray and promptly thrown in the garbage. No PNW second grader wants to eat purple cabbage and okra. The program missed the mark and I judged Michelle for it.

Since she entered the stage as a campaigning presidential candidate’s wife, I wondered who Melania was behind that beautiful face and I also wondered how in the world Donald Trump landed her as a wife. Had to be the money, right?

Reading these books was an experience. I was wrong about several things. Other things still didn’t sit well with me, but understanding the back story helped respect what the goal had been.

#1- How I Felt Reading each book.

Melania: I carry a book with me, everywhere and at all times. I ended up in Urgent Care and thought I may get poor treatment if the doctor thought I supported Trump, so I hid Melania. That wasn’t the only time I hid the book. I never felt that way about Becoming. I think people that don’t like Obama wouldn’t care that I was reading Michelle’s book. On the other hand, there are a lot of extreme Trump-haters that may be spiteful if they saw me reading Melania’s book. Am I off base? Remember, FEMA workers were ordered to not help hurricane victims if they had Trump signs in their yard.

Michelle: I felt kind of like a traitor. Especially when I rooted for her or supported something she did. I forgot that she was a political figure that I disagreed with. I started to see her as a woman, not unlike so many women I know personally. It was a little uncomfortable to break out of the shell of my established opinion. (It’s called GROWTH!!)

#2- Writing Style

Melania: So many ‘but’s and ‘however’s and by page 33, I started to interpret her story as, ‘blah blah blah… my life has always been perfect except when my fingertips hurt from learning to play the guitar’. Melania would make a blanket statement and not elaborate enough for me to connect. Example: ‘…the experience of motherhood shaped me…’ (page 50). HOW?? Tell me more!

The second half was about her meeting Donald and the journey to and through being the First Lady of the United States. I loved reading about what she did for Americans and people abroad, especially women and children. The details about the renovations she did in the White House were interesting (like her discovery of priceless wallpaper that was covered up which will eventually go to a museum). Her excitement for the United States and the honor she feels to be a citizen is inspiring.

Michelle: I was hooked into the story, from the Preface all the way through the Epilogue. With only a hiccup when she got overly political towards the end. Excellent writing, fantastic story-telling.

#3- What I Loved.

PICTURES! Every memoir should have pictures.

Learning about their courtships and relationships with their husbands was one of my fav parts. I had NO idea that Michelle was Barack’s mentor in a law firm!! How fun. That could be a great start of a steamy romance novel. I loved that Michelle was very honest about her hesitation in supporting Barack’s political ascent and also about the struggles she has in her marriage. It almost felt dangerous for her to be so honest.

I had an inkling that Melania married Donald for the money… I have completely changed my mind. Whereas Michelle told about sharing ice cream with Barack and their first kiss, Melania told about how Donald has a no-nonsense approach to life which mirrors her own. I found an immense respect for the partnership Melania and Donald have. If it wouldn’t spark terror in some readers, I would say they could conquer the world together. The picture of Donald and Melania with baby Barron solidified my opinion. They are both so serious.

I really enjoyed reading about both ladies disagreeing with their husbands. It made me see that they aren’t just talking heads; pawns in the men’s political game. They have their own ideas and neither of them are afraid to stand up for themselves and their kids.

#4- What I Hated.

The entire first half of Melania’s book.

Michelle candidly wrote about the media and people misinterpreting things and bad mouthing her family and she went on and dedicated several pages on doing the same thing about Donald. Disappointing.

#5- What Challenged Me

Race. I will never know what it’s like to be a black woman. Michelle will never know what it’s like to be a white woman. Some of the struggles she attributed to being a black woman, are the same struggles I have experienced as a white woman. I also think my definition of ‘diversity’ is different than Michelle’s; mine includes multi-colors and hers seems to only include one color.

I struggled with connecting to Melania on a personal level, throughout her entire story. I know her better, but I don’t connect with her better. Maybe that’s to be expected… privileged childhood in eastern European communism, drop-dead gorgeous, moving across the world to earn citizenship in a new country and marrying a millionaire. Not a lot I can cling to there.

#4- What Surprised Me

Melania did SO MUCH! I can only attribute my ignorance to the fact that the media didn’t cover any of the things she did. I had no idea. I really thought she just wasn’t involved… I was WRONG.

I was surprised how much Michelle despises politics. I don’t blame her. I was also surprised by the witty humor throughout her book.

#5- What I Learned about Melania and Michelle

Do they realize how alike they are?? They need to read each other’s books with an open mind. Maybe go to coffee and chat :). They both had parents that worked very hard, loved them more than anything and shaped their future adult selves. They both have a stubborn will and a solid determination to accomplish any mission they set off to do. They are both minorities that found themselves in very foreign circumstances. They both fiercely and protectively love their kids. They both feared for their kids to live in the White House, under the scrutiny of the whole world. They both took their kids to Africa and visited the Door of No Return in Ghana. They were both victims of the media. They both cared for and did amazing things for women and children while their husbands were president.

I judged these women by one or two things they had done. I think most people do. What if you were judged by one or two of your worst moments?

These books reminded me that Michelle and Melania are humans, just like me. They put their pants on one leg at a time. They have bad habits and they have made mistakes. Just like the rest of us. They’ve also stepped out of their comfort zones to do some amazing things for the world.

Both of these ladies are strong women, worthy of respect and also great role models for young girls everywhere. They have accomplished so much and have had to endure horrible things. I can disagree with their politics, I can vote against their husbands and still respect them. You can too. Let’s Move and Be Best.